How to navigate complicated feelings about mothers day

Mother’s Day isn’t always a straightforward day of joy and thankfulness. For many of us it will be messy and complicated. Punctuated by moments of pain and happiness. Making our way through a day that we have conflicting thoughts and feelings about can be incredibly challenging.

Whether through bereavement or the breakdown of a relationship. How do we enjoy mothers day with our children if we are missing our own mother, or the mother we wish we’d had? How do we celebrate with our own mother if it highlights our own losses? Mothers Day can be filled with complexities and heightened emotions.

Our brains like clarity and certainty: Mothers Day should be this or it should be that. It should be good or bad. Happy or sad. Resisting the grey messy in between area, whilst searching for the black or white is how many of us may experience Mothers Day. Switching or swinging between the two extremes trying to find an answer as to how we feel about the day, resolve the contradictions between our feelings and sit firmly in one camp or the other.

Embracing the grey, messy in between area, is the key to making your way through the day. There isn’t a right or wrong way to feel or think. Holding gently all of our feelings gives us the power to move away from judging them, so we can lean into them with more compassion and understanding. When we accept them as they are without trying to change them, we can focus on what we really need. This could be things such as rest, space, exercise. Some time alone or to be surrounded by people. A day out or a day at home. What you need may change as the days goes on.

Give yourself permission this Mothers Day to sit in the grey, messy in between.

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